I really don't like getting old. Not when so much is in need of fixing in my life. It's that gloom hovering over me because so much is broken and time is running out to make things right before I retire and wait for the end. Things that will bring regret will be ten times worse. And so many things will be regretted and the few things I would have to warm my soul have been ripped away. It brings a negative go to my every thought. I can't even put it in words only feel it inside. I will fight the thought but it still still take a toll. And I remember on January 1st I wrote of how the new year looked so promising only to have a nut case liar stomp the life out of my hopes. Nothing good ever goes unpunished.
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