What the fuck????

December 31, 2013

"Let Her Blow Baby!!!"

I sit waiting out the final few hours of a really strange year. In less than 24 hours I've gone from one extreme to another, then back and still back again no les than 3 complete times. Forgive me if I've grown a bit queasy and wanted to puke a few times. And now my feet stink, I know because with them firmly embedded in my mouth they are in close proximity to my ample proboscis I should know. From glorius bliss to utter despair. All the way up or down to the deepest of depths. Yes, all at once its so great you want to just explode to near fatal despair cause its all gone now, not even the illusion. So what's it gonna be? 2014 in bliss and wonder or the slam up the side of the head filled with doom de la gloom... Either way its just one way to go, "Let her blow Baby, let her blow!"

Oh no! We're doomed!

December 31, 2013

Here Comes The End...

Yes, it's a coming....the end of the year 2013. Time for the old year to go out as we welcome in the new one. That would be 2014. Some found '13 rather a lucky year and for them it may be lucky '14 to follow. Some of us may have found that the end of '13 held some luck and I know that I can say for sure that the New Year is coming as I will to start the last day of the end of the year.

December 25, 2013

Christmas Sums Each Thyme Corn Ear...

Its just another day each year like all the others and even others farther near. Maybe no one has big ears of corn whose sounds are sweet and buttered, then sea salted.

Listen again in the hours so still for the sound of those reindeer that old Santa does steer. His shiny old skool sleigh glides gently upon the roof's peaks the floats off and up high into ethereal worlds. His body is covered in some red velvet with white frill. He flew the same route just like every year. The route he has chosen in countless past years. A not secret terrestrial trail traversed totally after darkness no headlights and no fear. Diving down the chimney is the way he gets shit done quick and he's off next to the next served this year. He dreads leaving coal lumps for the bad kid who now wakes up without gifts left that were waiting for jolly Clause 

The darkness of last night breaks through...

December 22, 2013

To A Brighter Day...

As the night was full of nasty gloom, anger and fear gripped each of our souls. Much was said and much more was told. The fighting is done, the pent up emotions were freed and all the years turmoil released into the darkness of night. And then a calm came upon us as sleep took a hold. Words gave way to thoughts, thoughts led to dreams and our bodies rested while our soul was renewed. And the coming of the dawn brought it all back in view. More clear in the day, more warmth came upon us as the sun rose up boldly stretching its rays of gold way far from view. Those rays of wonderful sunshine reached out far and wide and we stand on horizons our toes touching the sea of light with our backs on the darknes we look forward over the days journey set to take us afar and on through. Our destination again is nothing new. The night which will greet light as we step once again into darkness and pray that this time there will be comfort from gloom. Amen...

And then there are rare times, quite rare indeed, when strong morning light again pull off a night move. So quick is it done and out of the blue cause, a 180* directional reversal can peel your eyeballs right out of their glue. you'll see where you were going while going full throttle where you've never seen. It's like walking into a door being opened ...

But it's all good. Of course it is. Lucky it's over? Maybe so. But happy it's done? Not a bit. No amount of happy is worth a heart kicked all the way out of the socket. Could I not see it coming? Most surely but when? It must have been sooner or later. It was much much sooner and not near any later. So that's the way she goes. Or doesn't go. Or does go but doesn't. Dozens of times dozens plus dozens again. Oh well. It really doesn't matter, does it? I guess not or it wouldn't have mattered, would it?...

As it gets closer to Christmas it starts to slip away...

December 22, 2013

That Wonderful Christmas Miracle...

Only 3 days now until Christmas and in a year I felt would be the best Christmas there could be Saturday was more like the worst ever . A battle broke out between grandma and dauoghter and was witnessed  by child and aunt that resulted in the aunt at Kaise geting her head. It was a wonder The you                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

Say it all or speak nothing...

December 20, 2013

You Still Can't Win...

Try to care and be concerned about someone who is bound and determined that she is going to be right no matter how wrong that is and you don't have a chance and you never can win. There never is anything to say when everything you say is nothing and yet nothing is too much to say.

Instead of just telling you their scared they will loose someone they have focused their entire life on and made major changes in order to protect them. Yes, you may have to let go of them but you will never loose them unless you push them away. Don't you see what your doing when you yell and scream at them and claim it's because you love them its why you do it? Maybe, just maybe, if you stop being angry at them and just hugged them and said you loved them - that's all - you loved them and hoped that they loved you, too. And that was what was important. That was all important then you would see that that was all it was in a nut shell: Love and love alone was all that it was and all it will ever be. Maybe you would see that you don't have to do a damned thing and it would all be alright. That no matter what happened it would always be. That no matter what trials you will face, win, loose or draw it will always be the same. Even miles apart you will always love them and they will definitely love you. It will never change even after all has passed, even after your life ends and your dust in the wind. That love will always be there and continue on and on.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

How could you ask...

December 12, 2013

Is There A God?

Having lived on this planet a good number of years, and survived nearly all of them, I've been witness to some very peculiar incidents and strange phenomena, along with the very mundane and semi-normal days, weeks, months and years. As grand and exciting as the former were its the latter  I think I've come to prefer. I have survived so many things that should have ended my life or left me crippled, a vegetable, limbless, listless, loony or worse. A tumor in the summer between 3rd grade and 4th, a cracked skull a few years before (some say "Ah hah!, that's why he's nuts!!", motorcyle crashes too numerous to count, a high-speed auto wreck at 23 when I broke my neck and my hip, half a dozen more wrecks in just the following 18-months, a crazy biker at the river with a Ruger 225 cracking my head with the barrel and emptying the clip as I dove off a cliff missing the water and landing first on the sand before rolling in the water and seeing the bullets leave trails in the water but never striking the target (me!) - thank God!!! - and a wild ride in my Dodge van on the Interstate from Tracy to the Altamont Pass in thick fog at 110mph just to see if God was with me still (children should never attempt these stunts at home or away), another 110 run in the same van on I5 in Oregon with the Moody Blues' Question  wide open to drown the screams of a hitchhiker who wanted out which he did at 15mph when I pulled off for gas...

Those are just a sample of things most people can't believe and as exaggerated as they sound they are mostly understated, believe it or not!

Even after 36 years...

December 11, 2013

Some Days Are Special...

It was 36  years ago on December 11 a special person entered my life. Our lives began to merge that day and were to become one but events took place that ended the relationship after a few years. Over time we became friends again and then lost touch for a dozen years or so. A Google search brought us back in touch as she was in Texas and I was still in California. we continued to email and text periodically and still do on rare occasions. She has since returned to California but haven't been in contact. I think about her now and again but I'm not consumed with thoughts of her like in the early days. Funny how you let go sometime along the way. A lot has happened in both of our lives and a lot more will happen before the end. But December 11 will always warm my heart and I'll remember the drive-in movies, the popcorn, sunflower seeds and sunflower sweater, Mr. Wiggle, socks, Doug "The Wheelie King" Domokos, Mazda RX7's, Mork & Mindy, 3's Company, Monterrey, hernias in the mud, a special ring and the Surf motel. Oh the memories still make me smile.

Well, Shelley, Happy Anniversary and remember to say a prayer for Carissa and have a Merry Christmas and the same for the New Year. Maybe time has come again and love is in the wind but it was you who first made them all come true. I love you still but in a much different way. I only hope the love in today's wind will be as passionate and long lasting as ours. It would make for a truly happy end of the story. I pray that it is...

It can be so hard to see it...

December 2, 2013

When Its Right There...

I had the pleasure of helping a youngster who lives with his grandmother decorate the house for Christmas and it was a great reminder of what Christmas is supposed to be about and how the simple things really do mean more than anything else. We hung lights on the house, set up the Elmo blow-up balloon, went and got a tree, etc. And it put a smile on this 9-year old child's face that was worth a million bucks. He's with his grandmother while his mother gets her life sorted out and back on track. And as a surprise, she is going to show up on Christmas morning in a big box left at the door. After the wonderful time I had this past weekend I can't wait to see his face that day. Its been over 2 years since he's seen his mom and he really misses her, of course. This could be the best Christmas I'll ever remember as I watch from the sideline as the two are reunited. I'll have to write more on this later but I have some things to do first...

And as an added bonus his grandmother has gotten her Christmas spirit back and has gone all out putting all this into motion. And when grandma gets the mistletoe toe posted in the right place I think I'll hold her under it for a few days and get into the Christmas spirit as well. WOW! No, WOWOWOW!!! 

It1s most assuadely... nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

December 1, 2013

Recember Dismember...

I am constantly reminded just why I hate - really and truly HATE! - The Sacramento County Code Enforcement. So many holiday activities and rituals being practiced now that keep jogging the "banks" and re purposing a plethora of old family remembrances accompanied with the emotional  roller coaster ride.

And I keep falling asleep so I am surrendering...