From August 27, 2014...

From Hangouts IM almost a year ago, 2 days before I was asked to drive to Oregon.

By the time you get this you ether have slept or did your thing.   I know we've changed drastically because you don't even call , sms, im.to say good night you werent gonna even walk me outside to my car.  I'm very sorry for what my daughter did and how she is but u my dear will be the last the second and the last person she gets to do that with to hurt me .  I think we should part now as we end ed last night with a bang and I don't_ever want to forget that .  I haven't been able to think about  nothing else qn yuk one .

And then on September 5, 2014 at just past midnight - we had gone to Safeway just a few hours before this, then 12 hours later she pulled the stunt in her shed...

Dear Lord tonight I ask of you to help someone else I care for dearly to protect him  and keep him safe for me.  And as you lifted my urges for that ugly man made drug I ask you do the same for him.   In Jesus name I pray.    Amen

How does someone say those things and even pray in Jesus' name and then do what she did after that. I can't begin to understand it. So many contradictions.

And it haunts me still. Because the things she did later caused far too much damage. And are totally opposite of "what would Jesus do?" It's why in still so angry and confused. And it keeps eating at me. Can't she see the damage she caused? All because of some manufactured violence she claims will happen. And it was her violence a week before that bashed my face in. Wow. What a fucked up world that would allow this to happen. It has destroyed my faith. If that's the way God watches out for His children I'd rather be an orphan...