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Thursday, August 28, 2014

I Think Miracles Really Do Happen ...

And One Just Made Me Cry...

August 28, 2014

As the summer draws closer to an end and we've experienced unusually non-hot August nights this year I think I just witnessed a real, live, bona fide miracle. Someone just made a decision to take a step in the rightest direction possible. I've sensed it was coming and prayed it be soon. But now it's here and I'm so happy I could...(to be continued...)

CAN YOU BELIEVE?...

I WANT TO BELIEVE...

August 28, 2014

I want to believe what you told me today is the truth. As in the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God. Yes. There's nothing I want more than that. It's just that the little things don't tally up so well. It's mostly a feeling. A sense. A doubt that lingers. I want it to be wrong and the truth to be as you say. A simple truth is all that I need to put some bounce back in my step and some fire in my jet pack. So I'm going to accept it's true and hope soon you'll find some way to erase any doubt that it's not. 

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Don't believe a thing you see...

May 4, 2014

BECAUSE I HEAR IT AIN'T TRUE ANYWAY...


Some times you want to believe someone isn't really the foul matter they begin to appear as. Then there are the other times you see that they aqre thaqt foul and then some. And the more you try to give them the benefit of the doubt the less amount of times do the prove you wrong. If it looks like a fucking duck, and acts like a fucking duck complete with the stink and all the floating gunk then I'd say kill it before it grows wings and be happy to know you did right.





Thursday, April 24, 2014

One thing is certain...

April 24, 2014

Talk Ain't Cheap...


Have you ever really needed to talk to someone about something real important. Something that you need to discuss because without the talk the issues will hang there and smell the entire neighborhood to hell? But they refuse to or avoid at all costs. And use every excuse that is irrelevant in all ways and sounds stupid to even  use. And they know what it's about so therefore you have to know the outcome isn't going to be the happy ending you wanted but the sad one they do want. Yet they keep avoiding it causing more friction and destroying anything at all special they may have shared. That they would choose that things should end this way is a bit disturbing since the reason for the talk is they said something on the phone one night and even called back a second time  shortly after to confirm that I heard what they said. And followed that the next night with another call to confirm that I remembered the call the previous night and what they said. Kinda sounds like they hung a bit of value to it. But will they talk about it? No!

So I have to assume there really isn't anything between us anyway. Never was. Never will be or could be. Never even had a chance. Isn't it sad to think what could have been. Even sadder, what it never really was...for them. So I'll cry about tonight what I'll hide inside tomorrow...

good-bye





















































































































Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Something wasn't right...

April 23, 2014

And Nothing Was Left Anymore...

I want to vent right now but I won't. I can't. It wouldn't do any good. When someone is determined to destroy something so precious you have to let them. They'll kill it eventually. You'll get blamed. But its their doing. They don't care how they do it or who gets hurt. They'll kill it dead. And that's how she's left me.

Monday, April 21, 2014

When hope goes on a diet...

April 21, 2014


DESPAIR IS SURELY THERE...


This Easter weekend has been a big bummer and I was thinking positive that something soon would rise from the dead...

Found on Google Drive written 3 years ago:

[It is the end of July already and I have spent so much time end energy battling Code Enforcement that I haven’t gotten anything done about replacing my roof. I’m not sure what I can do now as I have no job and can’t seem to find one in this stinking economy. It has never been this tough to find work. The little jobs I get are barely enough to survive. I can’t even pay my phone bill which makes it tough for employers to get a hold of me!

This disaster happened too late in my life. It is as if everything imaginable has stacked up against me and it has become insurmountable. I've seen stories about people who have this incredible bad luck and people come out of the woodwork to help them. However, for me it is as though they come out to get me. I know. Sounds like paranoia. Yet what else am I to think? If I were from another country or a minority or something besides a white American male there would have been news articles and help like I've seen before. I just want a job and then the Code Nazis to back off. I’ll get it done. But not with assholes crawling up my ass for stupid bullshit.' ]   

A lot has happened since then...... but little has changed.