I really hate life right now. There is nothing I like about it. I have to look forward to. Nobody I even care to brr around. I sit in my van and an bored to death. I get harassed. I have to deal with idiots I don't even rent to babe around. It's uncomfortable wherever I am. I get absolutely no pleasure in my life. I barely survive. And have been knocked backwards farther than forward. The harder I try the worse it gets. And the liar has been my greatest detriment. All her self righteous boasting about how much she helped me... Again, she did more damage than any good. I am worse off today than I was when she sucked me into her drama. I was so much better off and doubt that I'll ever get back to that sad state. And that's the way it is and not the way I want it.
Friday, July 31, 2015
She pulls up to the stop light making sure she is seen. Looks over and puts the phone to her ear and gets to appear to be calling the sheriff. All I could do was shake my head knowing who she is today is a far cry from the person I knew for nearly 2 years. And definitely not the person I was intimate with for over half that time. I still am amazed at the complete and total swap of personalities that getting off the shit and alcohol produced. That's just the opposite of what one would expect to see. But there she is. A hateful vindictive liar that really hasn't changed. She just put up a different facade too cool the world. The chameleon that nobody can trust. A leach on anyone she can come up on. I only want to see her demise. I can only hate her for what she had done. Because I am affected by it everyday in one way or another. And I still have no respect for any of the agencies and/or officials around me. And never will...
Just made a run to the scrap yard that turned into disaster. Marshall had some stuff to take in and I had some steel so it should have been good. But he had to bring Riahna with him and I want aware that she was drinking 4 Loco's on the way. She gulped a couple down and was drunk and started smarting off to the workers at the yard. They told us to get her out of there. Then on the way down Watt she got mouthy with drivers and I told her to shut up. So she goes off on me pulls a You Know Who and starts hitting mgr in the face. I kept trying to hold her back but it wasn't working. And Marshall did such a poor join of holding her back that I gay hit a bunch of times. And some guy in a mini van pulls along side and starts telling me off. I told him she was drunk but he didn't believe me. And if coarse 2 guys in a beat up van with a screaming girl... Anyway, the guy follows us all the way to the house and even though it was obvious she was the only one attacking they still wanted to call the cops. And before she got out of my van she broke and scattered everything and broke my windshield. Another piece of trash I don't need around me. What a bunch of crap. Nite I need a windshield. I'm so fucking tired of trying and having some idiot fuck things up even more. What's the use in trying? No, really? Like I need that kind of problem adding to my serious challenge I'm confirmed with. And here comes the sheriff now . Great!
Thursday, July 30, 2015
Add I read the posts from the past I'm seeing what is causing so much of a problem. I have no closure and I have too many unanswered questions mixed with so many lies. And until I get that closure it will be a wall that I keep slamming into. I don't give a fuck what anyone says, I need that closure. Or I need to see karma crushing her world. One or the other.
It was nice and peaceful at the river. Not a lot of people at all. If the pictures would upload it would show Xz having a great time swimming. He had a blast...
And my dentures were starting to feel much better but I just had the bone spur crack off a little chip and it started bleeding again. And it hurts. I don't know how else to get it through Western Dental's head that there is still a sliver of tooth left that needs to come out. It's going to be a problem over and over until it's dealt with. That's on the oral surgeon as he didn't get all the tooth out. They were all breaking bad and he should have been more thorough.
I'm tired of beating my brain against the wall and going backward. I had made it where I needed to be 6 months ago and it was torn from mgr by someone who hasn't accomplished a fucking thing on her own. Just a fucking whore who used anyone and everyone to get ahead. The type of person that should be tarred and feathered and stoned to death. So to hell with out all. I'm going to the river and let Xz enjoy life for once. This heat is blazing and he deserved a cool down. Maybe my anger will decline off I enjoy myself there. I need another $50 to get my license and who knows how much for insurance. And of coarse the SUV fag is roaming around. He must need his little wee wee sucked. You know, like back in Ohio when she didn't want to go to jail for drugs and she copped the cop? She's got do much class and the morals of the SSD are always void. And she gets away with the crimes. Sign of the times. The world in decline.
What I've wanted was that positive energy that overcomes all obstacles and drives me on when nothing can stop me. I'd what got me through the worst of times and got me to where I was January 1st. You know, when the idiot pulled her stunt because she had a hangover from the night before. Like she has every new year's eve. Like the one a few years ago when she had her hubby arrested got battery to pay him back for him getting her back east. Never mind all that. It's because she did so much damage and has a history of it that I can't let it go. Yanking the rug on me when I had made such progress and had such great hope driving me on was evil like nothing I've ever seen. Someone like that should not be allowed to live in this neighbourhood.
But I keep returning to this which is why it has me do unfocused. Any seeing her get away with this nonsense won't do. She had pulled these shenanigans too many times in her life and it's time it ends. Nobody should abuse the law that was there to protect real victims of abuse. She has to be held accountable and I won't stop until she is.