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Tuesday, October 7, 2014

What This All Started About...

Before She Sidetracked Me...



July 29, 2013

Please read the following account of what has been done to me and I think once you read it and go to the links I have included to see the pictures and video you’ll see how wrong this all was. And I hope it will make you angry enough that you’ll help me expose the guilty parties and hopefully justice will then be served upon the corrupt individuals who committed these crimes and robbed me of my family home, my security and my retirement!

In October of 2010 I was the victim of a fire in the house I inherited 6 years prior when my mother passed away. This was the house I grew up in that my family bought in 1963 when I was in 3rd grade at Thomas Edison. The problem was that I had no insurance on the dwelling. The last year my mother was alive my sister and I decided to let the insurance lapse and use the money saved to better take care of her needs. I was her full time care provider and thought that after her death I would return to full time employment and reinstate the insurance when I could better afford it. Except after her passing in October 2004 I had trouble finding a job that paid as well as what I made before I left the work force to take care of her. And I fell further behind before I found a decent job and was still catching up when the fire occurred.

So as I found myself with a major mess on my hands I dove in and was doing the best I could. Better than most expected and I was maintaining a positive outlook and saw things getting better. Until I was attacked by an out of control Code Enforcement that was hell bent on destroying me. They went to extremes to turn each of my successes into failures

A few days after the fire I was sitting in the front yard behind the chain link fence fixing a flat tire on my mountain bike when a county car drove up and a wild, screaming bitch jumped out and started in on me. She wanted to know what I was doing and who I was. I told her fixing my tire and I was the owner of the house. She asked my name and after I told her she said that wasn’t the name of the home owner. The house was still under my mom’s name so I pointed out the first name was different but it was the same last name. She screamed some more and found out I was much louder and much more profane than she was and a much more skilled debater. Then a sheriff car pulled up and it nappened to be an officer I recognized who remembered me. He found out what was happening and took the bitch across the street and after a moment he told her to go apologize to me. She wasn’t happy with it but she did and I hung up my cell phone as I was talking to Channel 3 News telling them what was happening. They wouldn’t believe me so I just hung up..

Having no other choice I stayed living in the house during one of the coldest, wettest winters in recent memory. I had boarded up the blown out windows, boarded up the burned doors, covered the roof with a huge tarp, put a chain link fence around the property and had a dumpster in the driveway. I hauled wheel barrow after wheel barrow of ashes, burned wood, furniture, sheet rock, family and personal memorabilia and what ever was in the house out to the dumpster. At night I would wash pictures and then dry them by the fire place or a propane heater. Then I boxed them along with anything else of value – real or sentimental – and stack them in the kitchen area.

I had made the burned out shell of the living room into a shelter by hanging tarps from the rafters around the fire place area where I had a couch and table. Then there were tarps over the walls and blankets and rags stuffed into the cracks keeping the wind from blowing through somewhat. It created a space around me that acted as an insulating barrier. Over time I got each room cleared out and eventually the farthest room back – the master bedroom – was set up with the dresser I had saved and a few other pieces of furniture and the couch which I used as a bed to sleep on. I had 2 dogs at the time and they slept back there with me helping to keep me warm. And my laptop was set up back there which I used daily for writing, researching the internet, communication via email and text messaging, watching programs on Hulu and Crackle and creating a web page.

After salvaging a great deal of photos and other family history and memorabilia and boxing it up for taking to a storage place some time soon I had a big set back. It was sometime around January of 2011 and I had gone to breakfast with the dogs same as I did every morning up to Safeway and MacDonalds. I returned to the house before noon to continue my clean up and arrived to find 2 white vans, one backed into the driveway and the other in the street yet nobody was in the house. But I did find all of the boards I had put over the windows and doors – which were approved by Code Enforcement – yanked down and new plywood nailed into their place. I also found my chain link gate with the lock cut, my tarps all ripped down, the tent out front I used as a shelter in the day to protect things I salvaged was trampled down with my own wheel barrow on top of it. The antique dresser I had in the kitchen that I stored salvaged items in was turned over, the drawers tossed into the living room, the mirror from it tossed and shattered, too, and each and every box of salvaged items tossed onto the floor and into the fire place. Among these items was my mother’s ashes! I was mad enough to kill and planned to do just that as I grabbed my red fiberglass handled ax and went out the front looking for the chicken shit bastards that had done this.

What greeted me was 3 – yes 3! – Sacramento County Sheriff cars each with 2 officers rolling up and heading toward me. They started questioning me and one in particular was a total smart ass who, after asking what I was doing there and I responded that I was cleaning up after the fire said, after looking in the door and seeing the mess, .”Your not doing a very good job!”  If my ax were in my hand at that time he would have found out what a tree feels like when its chopped down…

I was searched, all of my belongings were either thrown on to of the garbage containers or onto the dirt, insulted and belittled and informed that I had a warrant for my arrest for failure to appear on a traffic citation. The court date was about the time of the fire for a ticket I received for driving on a suspended license. Some how I had forgotten the court date in all the turmoil of the fire. I was then told that either I took my dogs and left or I was going to jail. I had no choice but to leave. If it was so important then why would 6 Sheriff let me go free? And nowhere were the 2 Code Nazis that instigated this fiasco. To describe them as chicken shits is more complimentary than derogatory. They were definitely diluting the gene pool.

I was forced off my own property when I should have been given the opportunity to file charges for vandalizing my property. But very reluctantly I took my 2 dogs and rode off on my bicycle.

 That night I returned and peeled a board off the back of the house to gain entry and I stayed the night. I woke early and after I changed clothes the dogs and I went to Safeway for breakfast. The workers returned to finish the job they started the day before. I returned that night and went about re-establishing the house for my access and repairing the chain link fence and gate that was damaged when Code Enforcement accessed my property. I also had to repair the side gate that the idiots had broken open and left that way giving anyone easy access to the back yard! They obviously didn’t care about the safety of anyone who might wander in to the yard. They were only interested in getting me out. Again, they did a poor job all around…

They had posted a notice on the house exterior informing me of a hearing concerning the “dangerous” building. About a month later as I was working on the next door neighbors front yard, which I was roto tilling with a friend up pulled Code Enforcement and I went charging over to block them from the property. They were posting another notice but I was more interested in telling the evil son of a bitch how foul he was for dumping my mom’s ashes on the floor along with all of the pictures, books, memorabilia, etc. I told him he would rot in hell! He tried to argue back but I didn’t let up and I only got louder and louder.

I finally pushed the right buttons and he told me to come out from behind the fence and we would, “settle it like men!” I barked back that I wasn’t going to let him set me up to call the sheriff.  He stated that he wasn’t  going to call the cops so I was out the gate and in his face. He wouldn’t swing so finally I faked a jump at him and screamed real loud. That forced his hand and the fist thing he did was go for his walkie-talkie!!! I told him he was a 2-faved lying piece of shit. He was making his retreat then as he got in his truck. And with my cell phone in hand I exclaimed, “That’s okay because 911 records it al!”

His jaw dropped and he looked at his partner whose mouth was equally wide open and they both started whispering to each other as I spun 180 degrees and walked back to my roto tiller laughing my head off!



Posted by Gregory Neukam at 3:37 AM  
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Friday, July 26, 2013
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Gregory Neukam  2/04/13  Keep this message at the top of your inbox
To: susanpeters@saccounty.net
Picture of Gregory Neukam


THESE ARE A COUPLE OF EMAILS SENT TO THE COUNTY SUPERVISOR SUSAN PETERS:





Dear Ms. Peters:

I had contacted your office last year concerning the out of control behavior of the code enforcement officers dealing with my property at 1400 Keeney Way. They succeeded in demolishing my family house which had been damaged in a fire in October 2010. I have a few issues I would like to bring to your attention and hope that something can be done about them. I'm not even sure where to start...

One of the major issues is when, in early 2011, they invaded my home while I was at breakfast and tossed all the belongings I had salvaged and boxed from the rubbish into the middle of the living room floor including my mother's ashes. I have complained before of this sickening act but so far no action. It was devastating enough to see family pictures and albums, records and news articles, etc. that I spent weeks digging out, washing and drying, then boxing up just scattered into a pile on the floor but so see my mother's remains dumped out made me mad enough to kill. I hope nobody ever has to experience that. If given the chance today I would still remove Munoz's and Chamberlain's family jewels and stuff them down their throats...

Besides the times they came in with the sheriff and arrested me for living in MY OWN HOUSE they did nothing whatsoever to assist in my personal disaster but harass me, slander me and tell neighbors total lies concerning me and the fire. 2 weeks before they tore the house down new people moved in across the street and they told them that the fire was started when my meth lab blew up! Over the past year I have become good friends with these people and they told me this when they hired me to overhaul their yard. I almost didn't get the job except their next door neighbor, Julie McGuire is a good friend as well as the daughter of my sophomore Encina High School English teacher (I've lived in this neighborhood almost 58 years - I know everyone...), set them straight when she heard of this. They also claimed I was dealing drugs and other criminal activities of which they were wrong in each and all of their accusations. Maybe a lawsuit will remedy this the most effectual way...

Just before they were set to tear the house down they came in and faked - yes, faked! - an asbestos test and claimed the house had it in it and there fore had to have a $15,000 clean up before being torn down. The reason I know they faked it, besides watching the kid that did the test, is that years ago when it was learned asbestos materials were used in the construction of Arden Manor houses we had the house checked and it was determined by people who know what they're talking about that there wasn't any asbestos used. It was brought to my attention that the wife of one of the code ass holes is also his supervisor at code enforcement and she either owned or has a business interest in the company that did the clean up. Isn't that called conflict of interest? And with the house torn down 2 weeks later it seems the evidence is gone. Maybe another lawsuit is in order...

But wait, there's more. The evidence really isn't gone. It appears that the demo crew didn't do what I know their contract called for since I was there when the bids were being taken that required ALL AND EVERYTHING INCLUDING THE FOUNDATION, DRIVEWAY, PATIO CEMENT WAS TO BE REMOVED! There are items, including cement from the patio, burred in the former backyard. I know because I dug it up. Is the word lawsuit coming to mind again?

Now let me put some thoughts in your head. If there was no asbestos in the house then $15,000 of MY MONEY was unnecessarily wasted I would conjecture because one supervisor and her code enforcement husband could make a nice chunk of change. Not to mention the employees of this company who spoke no English and scrambled the day I sat outside and yelled, "Federalles!" I thought it was cute and I don't have to be politically correct... Maybe not a lawsuit here but definitely a little negative press.

On the other hand if this asbestos thing was real then why wasn't it brought to my attention before I spent 16-months endangering my health in it. Surely, this wasn't a last minute thought they had. It would have been standard procedure to check for this at the beginning and not the end. There's a lot of mesothelioma  lawyers advertising their services all the time on tv. I won't even bring the "L" word up again...

To sum things up I'd like you to consider the facts here. I have lived at this address since 1963 and from 1955 when I was born to 1963 I lived at 1425 Morse Ave. less than a quarter of a mile away. I went to Thomas Edison Elementary, Jonas Salk Intermediate and Encina High Schools and American River College. There aren't but maybe 5 other people who have lived in this neighborhood longer than I have. I have been reduced to a homeless bum scrounging for cans and plastic to eat everyday. I was close to retirement at which time I would have obtained a reverse mortgage to supplement my Social Security so I could survive my last days comfortably. I'm surrounded with neighbors who like me and I like them. They rely on me to fix things for them as well as keep an eye out for their property. Not to be vain but I AM AN INTEGRAL PART of what made this area a desirable place to live, unlike the Morse Ave. apartments that brought ghetto to our neighborhood. Apartments that at one time were owned by a bunch of sheriff who invested in it for their retirements and were integral in it's downturn to a slum. And yet I've been destroyed by a couple of useless peons with a badge. A couple of garbage cops. That's all they are: GARBAGE COPS! I have nothing left to loose. And I've been honest in stating that I have a temper. And that I'm very angry. This is not a healthy mix. But it is a great formula for bypassing the lawsuits and going right to the passing out of justice and serving of punishment...

I used to wonder what pushed people to go postal. I found the answer to that mystery about 10-months ago...


Gregory Neukam


From: neukam1@hotmail.com
To: susanpeters@saccounty.net
Subject: 1400 Keeney Way
Date: Mon, 4 Feb 2013 17:43:31 -0800

Dear Ms. Peters:

I left out one important point. I got a letter telling me that the property would be auctioned of by the tax assessor on February 25, 2013. The minimum bid was listed at $78,500. I almost died laughing... Do they realize there is no house left? No walls, no foundation, no nothing. And now that they are aware of the possible toxic waste buried there the law states that any known issues with the property have to be told to potential buyers. FULL DISCLOSURE!!!

The sad part of it all is that if the dumb ass code nazis would have left the house like it was and stayed the hell away the property was worth about $50,000 and would have sold easily. I know because I had 2 parties ready to buy it until the idiots pulled up while I was talking to them BOTH TIMES! And it scared the buyers off. They both said they wouldn't get involved when the code bastards were involved. They had seen what kind of crap they pull. Like what the City of Sacramento Code criminals did to Mario Marino (I think that was his name) when they tore down his family home and they were caught taking bribes from developers that wanted the property. Kinda seems familiar to me...

And if the dumb fucks would have stayed out of my face the property would have sold, the tax man would have got his money, the liens would have been paid and I would of at least had enough money left to start over. Instead, everybody looses. Oh, except the crooked bastards that faked the toxic test and did an unnecessary over priced and poorly executed job. Its no wonder government is broke and this country is going down the tubes. Fowl people should be stoned or tarred and feathered like they used to do. I'm sure you don't really care. I have no address now so I can't even vote against you, let alone support you. Doesn't it scare you that these are all signs of a civilization in decline? Look at the Romans, the Greeks, the Ottoman Empire, the czarist Russians, the Jews in Biblical times, etc. Because of nobody trying to right the wrongs they all failed. And America will follow what history has shown us is inevitable. There is no perfect system because they all have the one flaw that ensures failure. The human factor. Greed and corruption. Abuse of power. The state always fails in the end. I just didn't ever think that I would be so close to the failures of society. This experience has taught me to be more sympathetic to the "nuts" who have been guilty of trying to fight back in their extreme fashions. Ted may have been more right than I would ever have given him credit for. Its sick. Just like the system that stole my future.

Gregory Neukam



Posted by Gregory Neukam at 5:41 AM  
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Wednesday, July 24, 2013
I am attempting to find some help with a serious problem that nobody seems to care about except me. Yes, I am the one who is mainly affected in this but I don’t know where to turn for assistance trying to right the wrong and put an end to this happening again.

In October of 2010 I was the victim of a fire in the house I inherited 6 years prior from my mother. The problem was that I had no insurance on the dwelling. The last year my mother was alive my sister and I decided to let the insurance lapse and use the money saved to better take care of her needs. I was her full time care provider and thought that after her death I would return to full time employment and reinstate the insurance when I could better afford it. Except after her passing in October 2004 I had trouble finding a job that paid as well as what I made before I left the work force to take care of her. And I fell further behind before I found a decent job and was still catching up when the fire occurred.

So as I found myself with a major mess on my hands I dove in and was doing the best I could. Better than most expected and I was maintaining a positive outlook and saw things getting better. Until I was attacked by an out of control Code Enforcement that was hell bent on destroying me. They went to extremes to turn each of my successes into failures

A few days after the fire I was sitting in the front yard behind the chain link fence fixing a flat tire on my mountain bike when a county car drove up and a wild, screaming bitch jumped out and started in on me. She wanted to know what I was doing and who I was. I told her fixing my tire and I was the owner of the house. She asked my name and after I told her she said that wasn’t the name of the home owner. The house was still under my mom’s name so I pointed out the first name was different but it was the same last name. She screamed some more and found out I was much louder and much more profane than she was and a much more skilled debater. Then a sheriff car pulled up and it nappened to be an officer I recognized who remembered me. He found out what was happening and took the bitch across the street and after a moment he told her to go apologize to me. She wasn’t happy with it but she did and I hung up my cell phone as I was talking to Channel 3 News telling them what was happening. They wouldn’t believe me so I just hung up..

Having no other choice I stayed living in the house during one of the coldest, wettest winters in recent memory. I had boarded up the blown out windows, boarded up the burned doors, covered the roof with a huge tarp, put a chain link fence around the property and had a dumpster in the driveway. I hauled wheel barrow after wheel barrow of ashes, burned wood, furniture, sheet rock, family and personal memorabilia and what ever was in the house out to the dumpster. At night I would wash pictures and then dry them by the fire place or a propane heater. Then I boxed them along with anything else of value – real or sentimental – and stack them in the kitchen area.

I had made the burned out shell of the living room into a shelter by hanging tarps from the rafters around the fire place area where I had a couch and table. Then there were tarps over the walls and blankets and rags stuffed into the cracks keeping the wind from blowing through somewhat. It created a space around me that acted as an insulating barrier. Over time I got each room cleared out and eventually the farthest room back – the master bedroom – was set up with the dresser I had saved and a few other pieces of furniture and the couch which I used as a bed to sleep on. I had 2 dogs at the time and they slept back there with me helping to keep me warm. And my laptop was set up back there which I used daily for writing, researching the internet, communication via email and text messaging, watching programs on Hulu and Crackle and creating a web page.

After salvaging a great deal of photos and other family history and memorabilia and boxing it up for taking to a storage place some time soon I had a big set back. It was sometime around January of 2011 and I had gone to breakfast with the dogs same as I did every morning up to Safeway and MacDonalds. I returned to the house before noon to continue my clean up and arrived to find 2 white vans, one backed into the driveway and the other in the street yet nobody was in the house. But I did find all of the boards I had put over the windows and doors – which were approved by Code Enforcement – yanked down and new plywood nailed into their place. I also found my chain link gate with the lock cut, my tarps all ripped down, the tent out front I used as a shelter in the day to protect things I salvaged was trampled down with my own wheel barrow on top of it. The antique dresser I had in the kitchen that I stored salvaged items in was turned over, the drawers tossed into the living room, the mirror from it tossed and shattered, too, and each and every box of salvaged items tossed onto the floor and into the fire place. Among these items was my mother’s ashes! I was mad enough to kill and planned to do just that as I grabbed my red fiberglass handled ax and went out the front looking for the chicken shit bastards that had done this.

What greeted me was 3 – yes 3! – Sacramento County Sheriff cars each with 2 officers rolling up and heading toward me. They started questioning me and one in particular was a total smart ass who, after asking what I was doing there and I responded that I was cleaning up after the fire said, after looking in the door and seeing the mess, .”Your not doing a very good job!”  If my ax were in my hand at that time he would have found out what a tree feels like when its chopped down…

I was searched, all of my belongings were either thrown on to of the garbage containers or onto the dirt, insulted and belittled and informed that I had a warrant for my arrest for failure to appear on a traffic citation. The court date was about the time of the fire for a ticket I received for driving on a suspended license. Some how I had forgotten the court date in all the turmoil of the fire. I was then told that either I took my dogs and left or I was going to jail. I had no choice but to leave. If it was so important then why would 6 Sheriff let me go free? And nowhere were the 2 Code Nazis that instigated this fiasco. To describe them as chicken shits is more complimentary than derogatory. They were definitely diluting the gene pool.


I was forced off my own property when I should have been given the opportunity to file charges for vandalizing my property. But I left very reluctantly.
Posted by Gregory Neukam at 1:54 AM  
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Monday, July 22, 2013
July 22, 2013

It's been a while since I wrote anything here - or anywhere! - so I guess I need to get back in the habit...

Where in  the middle of a hot, hot summer in Sacramento. I acquired a 1988 Chevy 29'  Komfort RV last October and I've been living in it on my old property. After a house fire in October 2010 county Code Enforcement ran over me and tore the house down in March of 2012. The house was structurally sound and it needed, mostly, a new roof. There was damage to the studs around the front door and out the opening from the living room to the patio where the sliding door was - that was the hot spot of the fire -  and all the windows were blown out in the fire. But the structure was good. Yet the Nazi bastards tore the entire house down including removing the foundation, driveway and patio! Barry Chamberlain and Paul Munoz were the ass holes that caused this action. They even used a fake asbestos test to justify a $15,000 Hazardous Clean-up that was done by a company that Cecelia Perez, the wife of Munoz and his supervisor at Code Enforcement, had some business interest in (conflict of interest!!!) yet they got away with this move. The property was worth approximately $70,000 before they tore it down. Now it's worth less than $10,000 and that's being very optimistic. This was such a gross act of injustice it makes my blood boil just thinking about it. They robbed me of my future security and left me financially ruined. There were other major wrongs committed prior to this and along with it. Major wrongs!

Like the day they entered my home when I was at breakfast and tossed all the boxes full of personal things I had salvaged, washed, dried and boxed up into the middle of the living room floor, including my mother's ashes which wer scattered on the floor! Broke to pieces an antique dresser that had been restored before the fire and was un damaged - until they destroyed it.

WOW! Talk about coincidence--- I just had a visit from the Sheriff Dept. Sgt. Matthew Reali came by to give me the heads up on Code Enforcement. Sgt. Reali has been the only official who has been a help during this past few years. He let me know that Code Enforcement would be here Wednesday to cite me for camping on my property. He's been running interference for me through the last part of this mess and I appreciate it more than he will ever know...

Well, this is enough for now. I gotta get some things handled today so that they won't have a thing to cite me for. Someday I'm going to have my chance to "cite" them and that may be a day coming soon...

From Then To When And Back To Now...

And How Can Now Be Then...


“You often meet your fate on the road you take to avoid it.” ― Goldie Hawn
September 18, 2013

Quote Me On That...

Writing is a form of therapy; sometimes I wonder how all those who do not write, compose, or paint can manage to escape the madness, melancholia, the panic and fear which is inherent in a human situation.” ― Graham Greene

I wish I could remember the exact words as well as the author but one of my favorite quotes went something like this: "There is a comfort in madness that none but mad men know..."
I'm quite sure that is probably a little scary to those who consider themselves less than mad men - those of the moral majority who try so to conform to the standards of society and seek security as well as possibly prosperity from "playing by the rules" and not causing waves nor stirring up the dust or rattling others cages, just going with the flow and all that. I think some even consider it a mark of superiority. And there's nothing wrong with that conformity, nothing at all. Blending in is very homogeneous. It just doesn't have a lot of appeal to me personally. Does that mean I'm "homophobic"? Only if the blender is plugged in somewhere in Lavender Heights!

 “If other people do not understand our behavior—so what? Their request that we must only do what they understand is an attempt to dictate to us. If this is being “asocial” or “irrational” in their eyes, so be it. Mostly they resent our freedom and our courage to be ourselves. We owe nobody an explanation or an accounting, as long as our acts do not hurt or infringe on them. How many lives have been ruined by this need to “explain,” which usually implies that the explanation be “understood,” i.e. approved. Let your deeds be judged, and from your deeds, your real intentions, but know that a free person owes an explanation only to himself—to his reason and his conscience—and to the few who may have a justified claim for explanation.” ― Erich Fromm

Sometimes the therapy in writing comes through what others have written before if they have so eloquently conveyed the thoughts that were shared.

“Happiness is not the absence of problems; it’s the ability to deal with them.” ― Steve Maraboli

I do believe the happiness is the result of the results that ability produces...



From Last Christmas . . . What It Was All About. . . 


It can be so hard to see it...
December 2, 2013

When Its Right There...

I had the pleasure of helping a youngster who lives with his grandmother decorate the house for Christmas and it was a great reminder of what Christmas is supposed to be about and how the simple things really do mean more than anything else. We hung lights on the house, set up the Elmo blow-up balloon, went and got a tree, etc. And it put a smile on this 9-year old child's face that was worth a million bucks. He's with his grandmother while his mother gets her life sorted out and back on track. And as a surprise, she is going to show up on Christmas morning in a big box left at the door. After the wonderful time I had this past weekend I can't wait to see his face that day. Its been over 2 years since he's seen his mom and he really misses her, of course. This could be the best Christmas I'll ever remember as I watch from the sideline as the two are reunited. I'll have to write more on this later but I have some things to do first...

And as an added bonus his grandmother has gotten her Christmas spirit back and has gone all out putting all this into motion. And when grandma gets the mistletoe toe posted in the right place I think I'll hold her under it for a few days and get into the Christmas spirit as well. WOW! No, WOWOWOW!!! 


Sunday, October 5, 2014

How Do I Say Good-Bye...

When You Won't Say Why...

October 5, 2014

I just don't know how I can say good-bye to someone who has been the biggest part of my life for the last year. We were together everyday for hours and ended each night in a special way. And, yes, there were some rough times and the hiding and lies made it seem worse than it should. But to end things in such a hateful way complete with a bigger lie and a ludicrous set=up just makes you look like an evil bitch or a psychotic lunatic or both! Yes there were times you seemed a bit of each but for the most part the woman I fell for was a little extreme but always genuine and caring in her way.

So how can I turn away from the person I knew who meant the world to me and made me believe I was that special to her, too. I don't want to believe she was just acting all that time. Parts of it, yes, but not always. She couldn't  have endured some of the events we went through without something there to care deeply about. And while I always suspected she had some issues of the mind I didn't see them as being that radical. But something snapped when September began anmd it snapped and stung and shredded to pieces what we had and tore the magic that made it from her heart.

And she went from loving me to hating me overnight and won't even yell me why. Won't explain how she got it in her head that I want to hurt her or her family in some terrible way. When it was her that has gotten violent and beaten me and threatened me and broke things in her anger. Yet she still does all she can to hurt me in any and every way. And all I want are answers to help me accept what's been done. Because it makes no sense how she loved me one day...and then she turned into hatred and got so out there I wonder if she will ever be sane. I only know I miss her and still cry at least once every day. It hurts so much to loose her love and hurts even more because of her love turned into evil fueled hate. How can she be so cruel as to leave me hanging this way? I won't accept that I will never have the answers I need. Nobody is that cruel and viscous. At least I never believed she could be. And until I get the answers I can't just turn away. But the answers better come soon before their absence destroys me....and it may happen in a few days. This is a lesson that didn't kill me but it didn't make me stronger either. Mostly I'm left with bitter and foul. A lousy end to anything. I just want the answer and need it soon. Or it could turn me cold and devoid of concern and ready for destruction to bring an end to the pain. I have no hope

Saturday, October 4, 2014

How You Became Such A Hater...

But Mostly Why?...

October 4, 2014

When did you become this evil hater? Out to get me. Claim I'm a "threat" to your family and yourself. Let me understand this: You go to Oregon and take me along. Great trip there. Return starts with you beating my face in. Jail. You claiming memory loss and all. And then saying alcohol was the reason and that you go off and don't remember bashing my face. And telling my sister I was the crazy one. And I'm a threat to you? 

Your little drunk dunce pulls a knife on me and falls on his fat ass. And I'm the threat? The time you stabbed me in the cheek. Broke my laptop, my van door. There is something wrong with this picture. You are just plain evil. You can't have a conscience. Not and do what you did and keep doing it. And you can't be working a 12-Step  program and doing all this falsifying of facts and constant harassment and abuse of the system. And does Reverend Cole preach these principles when he's fund raising on the "homeless" circuit? You might want to add a comment on the picture you so proudly posted on your Google+ page. Give credit where credit's due...

It's probably something to talk about when you 2 fix the meals at that other church. You know, the Church of Motel 6 of Saint Eeterdown. Come one, come all. Yes it's a mouthful but remember....she's a professional.......
.

Friday, October 3, 2014

You Know How You Tell When Someone's Hiding Something...

When They Keep Pushing Nothing...

October 3, 2014

I know now I was right in everything I said. Otherwise they wouldn't be trying so hard to hide the truth. It means they are running scared. So I was thinking today at work how maybe she was starting to realize how wrong she was and maybe feeling a bit guilty. But this time I was wrong. Mandi was right...she just doesn't care. But I thgink the real reason has to do with her income. John L. has everything he needs to dump her ass with no support. A he probably will.

A statement she made keeps coming back in my head. "I've got 4 years invested in this and nobody's going to screw it up when it's so close to an end!" Talking about her "marriage" and hpw John L.'s health was failing. APS will see that and take care of it.

And since she's called so much even the sheriff is beginning to see she is crazy. Smolich, who was steaming last time we met is becoming a little more understanding and already pegged Lori as strung out on pills. And the dork drunk as short on the uptake. The sheriff even laughed when I told them how he was playing tough guy and fell off his bike.

The real doozie was when I pointed out that there were a lot of discrepancies in their stories. The sheriff said he was noticing that, too. I offered them the chicken Lori gave me and when I rold them where it came from they both said they'd pass. I said they sure would - GAS! I wouldn't even let Xz have it. Some poor homeless guy will find it and probably shit all over himself. Poor guy.

So now I'm selling the van. It's a piece of shit and I don't want it. That way I'll be in stealth mode on foot. Nobody will see me and they'll realize if they didn't make an issue of it they would at least know where I was. And they can worry 24/7 if I really meant I wished them no harm. So do you believe me? People who lie can never recognize the truth. They aren't familiar with if. They can't see it.

So have a good night and if you hear a noise or smell a smell kr see something in the shadows and wonder if it's me. Hell no. I don't need to do a thing now. Your suffering already. Your paranoia will get you not me. Or was that a lie. Time will tell and time is now time to say good bye ya awl...

After Reading Those...

Are Your Eyes As Wet As Mine...

October 3, 2014

Or are you laughing at me now or angry that they are there. Or just indifferent. Don't really care. I hope you, too, were crying just a bit with a smile trying to break out of the chill. It was a year ago and I miss the magic. The blessed feeling from out of the past that usually never comes again. I bet you never even listened to the song...MAGIC.....Coldplay.....Did you?

I cried and I smiled and got angry a little, too. Angry because it's gone. The way it went. The lies....

And I can't let go because I won't accept that it all meant so little to you. The way that you ended things and the cruelness you threw out at me. That pious, self-righteous, your-inferior-to-me attitude that puts you above us all. It used to be tempered with the soul that connected and realized what was there. I don't even see a hint of her anywhere....

Thursday, October 2, 2014

The Things I Want To Remember...

The Things I'll Never Forget

October 1, 2014

Oh my God Liz. The only thing I expected was the truth. You have to be one of the most head twisted people on earth. Those real friends. Beat the shit out of one of them and leave them in Oregon and see how much of a friend they are. Call the cops on them for no reason and see how much of a friend they are. Stab them in the cheek and see how much of a friend they are.

You know, you still don't say what I did to deserve being treated like this. You say your working your program. It doesn't have a step that saysfuck somebody over real good when all they did was fall in love with you. A nd were you telling me a lie when you said you loved me?  

REMEMBER THESE:

lisi1062:I feel like I'm in high school or something youwokke something up in me I didn't think I would ever have back. Thank you
Feb 07 5:50 AM
gregoryneukam:your master of one method is the most effective way i have experienced
Feb 07 5:50 AM
lisi1062:my knight and shining armor who would of thought
Feb 07 5:51 AM
gregoryneukam:no nkidding but you did the same to me
Feb 07 5:52 AM
lisi1062:what the hell come back over here and fuck my brains right now
Feb 07 5:52 AM
lisi1062:no just kidding
Feb 07 5:52 AM
lisi1062:gonna get on the internet. k to see if I could find you some pills
Feb 07 5:53 AM
gregoryneukam:that first kiss in the garage....i tried to get the nerve to do that for a week and then decided to do it
Feb 07 5:53 AM
lisi1062:hooked at first touch of your lips to mine .
Feb 07 5:55 AM
gregoryneukam:i know when i damned near swallwed your tongue that i wanted all of you
Feb 07 5:55 AM
gregoryneukam:which lipsare we refering to
Feb 07 5:56 AM
lisi1062:I know that when I have int he past kissed a personincluding all both of my ex husband they had never made me feel trhat way
Feb 07 5:57 AM
lisi1062:holy shit I guess O cam
Feb 07 5:58 AM
lisi1062:holy shit I gu\ess I can't type like I use to .
Feb 07 6:01 AM
lisi1062:wow who are you typing to now .
Feb 07 6:01 AM
lisi1062:hey I'm gonna go okay I have a few thhings I need to do
Feb 07 6:02 AM
gregoryneukam:and i watch you as your all the different people you need to be each day - wella, house wife, aunt, etc - and then i get to see the teenage girl inside you come out and play i know im the luckies
Feb 07 6:02 AM
gregoryneukam:luckiest man in the world


lisi1062:were are you I am having withdraws
Feb 07 5:33 AM
gregoryneukam: do you know how good you make me feel?
Feb 07 5:34 AM
gregoryneukam:way better than yhat
Feb 07 5:34 AM
lisi1062:probably as good as you make me feel .when your not fighting . :)
Feb 07 5:34 AM
lisi1062:Hey so what do you say we try something new
Feb 07 5:35 AM
gregoryneukam:but even better is how you feel when i feel you
Feb 07 5:35 AM
gregoryneukam:alright
Feb 07 5:35 AM
gregoryneukam:what would that be
Feb 07 5:36 AM
lisi1062:I'm loving that to . No one has ever really been able to make me do what I have been doing with you so many times.
Feb 07 5:37 AM
gregoryneukam:whats that
Feb 07 5:37 AM
lisi1062:Get yourself in Liz mode and please no more argueing life is to short to spend it fighting and my time with you is precious to me
Feb 07 5:38 AM
gregoryneukam:agreed....no more fights
Feb 07 5:39 AM
lisi1062:oooooh yummy that means alot more sex


THAT"S WHAT I REMEMBER MOST....AND I NEVER WANTED IT TO END. WHY DO YOU THINK I'M STILL TRYING? HOW DO I LET GO OF THAT?I CAN'T...