"I'm sorry Mr. Neukam but our company policy is that we don't hire people with a felony under 5-years old. It had been our experience that any less than that they usually end up in trouble again. While your case is much different than most felony offenders that we have had experience with in the past it is still a felony conviction and company policy prohibits me from making exceptions. I wish there was a way around this but my hands are tied."
Well, what a surprise that I would hear those words spoken to me in an interview. I would have never imagined it. What a great thing to hear. It means when I'm 65 they would be able to hire me. And, of course, they would hire me a year after average retirement age. Even though I'd still be 5-years short of 70, the latter date of retirement. So I just need to survive for 5 more years and I might have a shot at employment. That would be the same lapse of time since my house fire and those 5 years took such a toll on me that I'm surprised I survived until now. And those 5 - the past year being the most damaging - turned me from an overly optimistic, positive can do anything person into a grumpy, angry, bitter, beaten down and battered soul. Perfect candidate for a customer service position......with the KGB! Maybe the next Hitler will need a PR man...Or I'll get to run my own oven. Guess what my first bake off will have as the main ingredient? No doubt about it...
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