You Said You Loved Me...

But You Always Lie...

September 30, 2014

On the last day of last month we were on our way to Oregon and having the best time together we ever had. Stops along the way to make love were incredible. You were openly saying nhow much you loved me. Saying you were almost 52 and couldn't believe how you felt so much for me. I was sure we had reached a new level in our relationship.

Then in Oregon it went all bad. And after I returned to Sacramento on a Greyhound bus we went to Safeway on Thursday or Friday night and you again stated how much you loved me as we wandered around the store. But the very next night it all came undone. That fat drunk Kevin kept cruising by and stopping in front of your house. 5 or 6 times he did this. We had planned to meet and sneak in your room.  Then your texts got all weird. You saying I had "company" and saying I must have better plans than the one's we made. Then asking if I was in the back yard. I was at my van. I said it looked like some one in your back yard. Then you stopped texting and came out in the street on your phone screaming at  me.

I left on my bike at that point and later that day I learned your husband's window was broke. And Mandi told me you saw me in a black suit swinging a white cord and breaking the window out. Wow!

It gets down to this. Who would have motive to break the window? Fat and drunk would. He could say I did it which would make me look guilty and he could slide in to be your savior . And it looks like you fell for it hook, line and sinker. I knew you were a little slow on the uptake but thought you could see through the bull shit in time. But instead you've invented some monster out to destroy you and hurt you and your family. You've gone so far as to block me from ever having contact with you again. You now hate me and screw up anything you can in my life. And you won't even see the truth.

And you said you loved me! Im don't want your love if that's what it's all about! So now you have all you want. A great diversion to keep the eyes off of you and Kev. You even have Lori convinced your not fucking the idiot. And you have John L. hood winked as usual. Can't loose that income. Especially since you'll probably loose your job for fraud. And you still have to hope Adult Protective Services doesn't get you for the way you blew through thousands of dollars playing big-shot and throwing cash around bolstering your ego. And your re-finance of the re-finance will probably fail now so you won't get a big wad of cash to make your great escape. And you have to worry if CPS will step in and yank your grandson out of your hands to protect him from your insane behavior.

All of this will make for some great stories in later years. But right now your living a nightmare. And you've made me the monster of it. And you won't wake up and let the nightmare fade away so you go through the day with your eyes closed and the monster keeps chasing you. So you can't figure out that the monster is who you chose to save you. You didn't need saving until you brought in the savior. Too bad you didn't have faith in Jesus as your true savior. Then you would see He sent me to help guide you but you chose the darkness instead. I won't live in the darkness so I'm going back to the light. Maybe I'll see you there one day. I pray it will happen but you need to want it or it won't happen.

Dear Father In Heaven,

I pray to you today that you will reach out your hand to Liz today and show that you Love her and want her to be among your children.  Give her the strength to climb out of this quagmire she's stuck in. Bring her back from the darkness and into the light where we will all be waiting. Give her guidance in all that she does. Show her who really cares and wants the best for her. Let her see her adversaries for who they truly are not what they want her to believe. Let her focus her attention on removing the evil force that is blinding her to the truth. And please dear Heavenly Father, show her I really love her and want what's best for her and no matter what I want her to turn her back on the darkness and step into the light and let her be all that she was meant to be. And let her see that her and I may have had too many obstacles blocking any chance for a future together but that I still love her and want what's best for her. Let her open her heart and find Your Love enter and all will be better as she now begins to see. I pray to you Father to bless her and hold her and protect her from evil. I ask this in the name of your Son Jesus Christ.

Amen...