Dear Liz...

I Miss You So Much:>{...

September 25, 2014

I find it so hard to believe that the woman I spent the past year with could do what is being done to me. We spent more time together than we did apart. She wanted me close all the time. Even at night when I'd go to my van or motor home she wanted me to park where she could see me from her window. We'd talk, text, have smoke breaks together, go to the store, browse the internet, IM, everything....EVERYTHING! And now she never wants to see me again. Never wants to talk to me, text me, call me, IM with me, see me, anything. And she won't tell me why. She has a restraining order and is constantly calling the sheriff. When I see her she is mean, hateful, nasty. And she won't tell me why.

So I'm left to wonder. I pray for the answer but never get it. I won't stop trying and I won't go away. So I keep waiting for the lady I knew to come back and chase this evil impostor away. I have to hope that the good Lord is there to bring her back to the light and push the darkness away.

Always Will...

I'm wondering now just how it would be,

To have you back here at my side.

I sit here and stare into dark empty space,

While dreaming your here now with me.

I miss you so much there's a tear in my eye,

I'm sorry my dear but I'm starting to cry,

As memories of you fill my mind.

Yes I do love you, do love you still,

And I'm dreaming of you, like I always will...

To have you back here, while holding your hand,

Music would play, even though there's no band.

I'd look in your eyes, your hand still squeezed tight,

And tell you how much I regretted our fights,

I'd beg your forgiveness, for all I did wrong,

And hope you'd believe that back here you belong,

Where our hearts would play songs born in love.

'Cause I do love, do love you still,

And I'm dreaming of you, like I always will...

And love, I would tell you, was all that I asked,

A love I'd cherish, if it ever were back.

But the way I was then, love, proved how much I lacked,

As I took more than gave to our love.

I never wanted to hurt you, but I made you cry,

And the pain that I brought you, along with the lies,

The guilt that still haunts me, and I hurt deep inside,

Alone now with tears in my eyes.

Of course I do love you, do love you still,

Dreaming of you love, like I always will...

The sorrow I brought you, that now makes me cry,

Won't let me go on love, God please let me die,

I wish it could end with a final good-bye.

And I'd tell you that never, was my love a lie,

That I'm sorry i hurt you, and sorry you cried,

So sorry for much dear, not sorry I tried.

As I leave now with tears in my eyes.

Forever I'll love you, I always will,

Forever my true love, I dream of you still...

Gregory W. Neukam