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Thursday, January 23, 2014

I try and try but...

January 23, 2014


I End Up Crying...


I try so hard to keep in mind that only I want things to be the way they should be but forget it's a situation that is no-win for me. It is a win-win for her no matter the outcome. But I have this morbid desire for it to turn out the way I want. I'll never have her and she never wanted me. My heart went off the deep end and her's was never in it. She's satisfied with what it is and I can't believe anyone would want it that way. So she gets her way and I loose my way. And I've drifted toofar off course and lost my drive. So I wallow in stupidity and continue to try for the unobtainable. So now I must make my mind up that I followed a dream that is only a nightmare and accept the sad reality that she will never be anything but what she is now. All the claims of feelings were just something to say to stop the wall from going up to keep her away. Just let go and she'll drift away because her heart will never feel what it felt as I cried...

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